Grief doesn't keep a schedule.

If you're grieving, I'm so sorry. However long it's been, and however it's showing up for you, you're welcome here. Grief doesn't care what anyone thinks the timeline should be, and you don't have to either.

Who this is for

I see adults moving through loss, with a special focus on women. Some are grieving the death of someone they love, which is what we usually call bereavement. Others are grieving a loss of a different kind, because grief reaches well past death: the end of a marriage, a diagnosis, a miscarriage, a job, a friendship, a version of the future you'd already started living in.

Both can hold fear, anger, and a sadness that goes deeper than you expected.

Grief that nobody else is treating as a loss

Not every loss comes with a funeral. A miscarriage, an estrangement, a divorce, a diagnosis that ends one version of your life, or losing someone who's still alive, to addiction or illness or a choice they made. The people around you may not know to offer you anything at all, which leaves you grieving and explaining at the same time. Those losses are real, and you're welcome to bring them here.

Every grieving experience is different

How a person adapts to loss changes a lot from one person to the next, shaped by their background, their beliefs, their relationship with the person who died, and so much more.

It changes within the same person, too. You might hold your daily routine together after one loss and be unable to get out of bed after another. That's normal for grief, and it isn't a sign of weakness. Your journey will be unique, so be patient with yourself.

What grief can look like

Grief often shows up in your body, your emotions, and your relationships all at once.

Physical

Crying and sighing, headaches, loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, weakness, and a tiredness that rest doesn't touch.

Emotional

Sadness and yearning, worry, anger, frustration, and guilt, which is often the one people are least willing to say out loud.

Social

Feeling far away from the people right next to you, pulling away from contact, or acting in ways that don't feel like you.

If those are showing up in ways that distress you, or they aren't easing with time, it's worth reaching out.

How I work with grief

Nothing makes a loss stop mattering. My hope is to help you find a way to carry it that leaves room for the rest of your life.

We often start with telling the story of what happened, at whatever pace you can manage. We make room for self-care, which in grief often means basic maintenance when nothing feels worth doing, and for relationships, which loss reorganizes whether you asked it to or not. Over time we work toward a new normal you didn't choose and still get to shape.

When words aren't the easiest way in, we can use sand tray inside your individual sessions. Some people find it helps with a loss that feels bigger than any sentence.

When a death was sudden, violent, or witnessed, grief and trauma are often tangled together, and the trauma may need its own care. In those cases I bring in trauma therapy alongside grief counseling, including EMDR, which is used with complicated grief.

Is it grief, or is it depression?

This is one of the most common questions people bring to a first session, and it's a good one. Grief and depression share a lot of territory, but they aren't the same thing, and the difference changes what helps. Part of our early work is sorting out which one you're in, or whether it's both. I've written more about the difference in Is It Grief or Depression?

The dates that arrive whether you're ready or not

Grief keeps a calendar: the first birthday, the anniversary, the holiday table with a chair nobody wants to move. And sometimes an ordinary Tuesday in the grocery store turns out to be harder than any of them.

Part of our work is seeing those dates coming, so they don't catch you off guard, and deciding ahead of time what you want them to look like. Some people want a tradition kept exactly as it was, and some want it changed completely. Both are okay, and neither one is a betrayal.

When it's time to reach out

There's no threshold you have to cross first. If grief-related thoughts, feelings, or behaviors are distressing you, that's reason enough.

Some things are worth reaching out about sooner: weeks of not sleeping or not eating, pulling away from everyone, guilt that's become the loudest thing in your head, a death that was sudden or violent, or a grief that just isn't moving and that you've run out of people to talk to about.

Grief tempts us to isolate and hurt alone. If talking to someone feels like too much right now, even asking a friend or family member to come sit on the couch while you cook dinner, just to be in the house with you, is a good place to start.

A little about me

I'm Cristina, and I'm the owner of Flourish. I built the practice around women's healing, and I'm passionate about walking alongside people through heavy seasons and using expressive arts in healing, which can help when a loss is hard to put into words. Read more about me.

There's no wrong way to grieve, and you don't have to be "doing better" before you come in. Whenever you're ready, I'd be honored to walk through this with you.

Related reading: Is It Grief or Depression?